Broken Image
by Crowskin
Summary: In the end, seventeen is too young an age to go mad. Death heartily disagrees. HarryxRon and HarryxVoldemort if you squint.


Broken Image

If you were given to flippancy, you might say that Harry broke the Mirror of Erised because of just a couple things; a death or two, the loss of a sanctuary, maybe even a minor betrayal.

But this would not be true, and Harry is scrupulously honest. In truth, Harry did _not _end up trembling and crying and laughing those sickeningly hollow laughs amid the biting silver shards of mirror because a death or two. No, for the sake of the rest of the world he can't break for a couple of deaths, because _they_ still need him to cause a couple of deaths in a very desperate and acutely unhealthy way.

And that's okay.

(Harry knows it isn't okay, but for now it serves a purpose, and he was always a liar for a good cause. He's an honest liar, and it's okay. Never mind that it's not, and let's leave him to his delusion for a while longer, lovelies.)

--

Ron died one year, three months, and twenty-three days ago. He had died in a fit of gallantry, leaping in front of a killing curse meant for Hermione during a Horcrux raid gone bad.

Why had he jumped for it? For stupid reasons, for friendship and chivalry and trust and half-formed tender feelings that didn't like rejection. All it took was a flare of green light and a triumphant smile/smirk from Death to raze away those vulnerable feelings, so _effortlessly_, and Harry had a feeling that Death knew exactly it was taking. Because there was Death waxing insane in Bellatrix's eyes, and her Master was Death himself, and Death had stolen Ron's body from him. (Why did he throw himself into Death's arms to get Ron's body back? Stupid reasons – for friendship and chivalry and trust and half-formed tender feelings that didn't like rejection.) Death was toying with him, drawing him close and then stringing him out again, playing, just playing...

Voldemort was Death, and Death would soon feed Harry to his Death Eaters, he knew.

Harry bitterly reflects that if the roles had been reversed, Hermione would not have jumped in front of the curse, she'd have blasted Ron out of the way. Hermione is smart _smart _**smart** and he was so very dull.

Not that it mattered now. Hermione died exactly three months after Ron, to chance of all things. It was a gentle betrayal, one they were expecting, but it caught them by surprise all the same. Hermione, for all her intelligence, had died of chance, just for being near the front door at Grimmauld Place the day the Death Eaters came to call on Snape's word. It was an insult to her skill, to die so quietly and to such paltry circumstances as _chance_. Harry had fled, blind with pain and hate and roaring denial.

He couldn't recover Hermione's body that time.

--

But that was then, and this is now. And now is a year, three months, and twenty-three days later kneeling empty/bloody/broken (but he isn't broken yet, because there are several deaths he still needs to cause, in a very desperate and acutely unhealthy way. so he isn't broken, yet.) among the shards of the Mirror of Erised.

Thing was, Harry was lost without Ron and Hermione. Years with friends had softened him, left him open to the pain and hate that isolation brought. No Hermione to argue with, no Ron to cheer him up, he only had Harry now, and Harry was cracked open and dissected by Death. But now Death seemed content to let Harry languish on his own, so it was Harry's turn to play the game and seek out Death. And what better tool to seek Death with than the Mirror of Erised?

It hadn't taken much effort to find the Mirror, really. It was just on a reckless, wild whim he smuggled himself into Hogwarts (Without Hermione to argue with, and no Ron to cheer him up,) into the Room of Requirement to see the Mirror glimmering innocently/deceivingly at him.

Yes, it had to have been too easy to find, because the Mirror wasn't working properly. It did not show him Voldemort. It did not show him Death Eaters screaming high while murdering and burning. It did not show him the locations of the remaining Horcruxes. Instead, it showed him Ron and Hermione calling beseechingly to him, pleading him to join them.

--

You might think that seventeen was too young an age to go mad. You'd be wrong, something Death can attest to.

In the end, Harry didn't break the Mirror of Erised because of a few deaths, the loss of a home, and a gentle betrayal. He broke it because it wasn't reflecting the truth. And as he sits among the the thousand shattered reflections of himself, and sees Death waxing insane in his eyes, he thinks it's all right now.

(Never mind that it's not.)

* * *

Author's Notes: Again, I think I like the idea better than how this actually turned out. I liked the beginning and ending, but the middle kinda sucked. But whatever, I'll do a lurid thanky dance at those of you who review and give constructive criticism. Novocain: I took your criticism into consideration, and here's the polished version! Thanks for helping me write mo bettah. :D


End file.
